Managing change through transitions
This is the time of year when most NFL players get some valuable time off before the start of a grueling season. However, this time each year, there are over 500 players who were on a roster the previous year but have no contract, and most have played their last down in the NFL. For these players, this period of transition can bring about lots of cognitive and emotional challenges that have no conclusive “right way” to manage. During this period, some players may suffer an ontological crisis—a condition that arises when something that has served as a significant foundation is diminished or taken away.
Effectively navigating this crisis requires understanding that transition is more a process than a destination. When dealing with the disappointment that can come from a loss, it is possible to get so focused on what “was” that we lose sight of what’s “now” and how we are making meaning of our current experience. Here are three reminders that might be helpful for those who find themselves during an unanticipated transition.
Fact 1: Transition is a process—a change that occurs over time. No matter how hard we try, we cannot fast forward through the emotional experience of change. Unfortunately, given our time-conscious society and the desire for instant solutions, it can be easy to internalize the pressure of an arbitrary calendar or deadline for when we should be able to declare our transition experience “over.” In reality, trying to rush the process typically results in more anxiety, stress, and frustration.
Fact 2: Transition is often a time of crisis, but a crisis does not always result in a negative outcome. The word “crisis” in Chinese is formed by combining two words: danger and opportunity. While experiencing a transition may feel difficult and dangerous, these times can also present an opportunity for growth, strength, and wisdom. Big breakthroughs are often the result of pain or discomfort during a time of transition. Poet Kahlil Gibran said, “Pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.” So if you are in the midst of a transition, learn to listen to your thoughts and emotions, and try leaning into the pain and discomfort.
Fact 3: Transition always starts with an ending. Have you ever wondered why we tend to mourn death and celebrate life? It may be because an ending is a separation from the familiar. Scholars have suggested that experiencing a transition can be like the experience of death, resulting in disorientation or confusion. It can feel like we have lost our way, uncertain about our next step. One recommendation for those in the midst of transition is to learn to honor an ending. This will require a change of perspective. Instead of viewing an ending with finality by focusing on what has been lost or the feelings of grief or emptiness, we can view the loss as a natural part of the process of life's journey.
If you are someone experiencing a transition—especially an NFL player at the close of his playing career—you are encouraged to become aware of your thoughts and emotions to acknowledge them with a trusted individual or professional. Using healthy coping mechanisms, work to accept the reality that a change is coming, and things will no longer be the same. As you navigate the process, take action to disengage and disidentify from the previous role, position, or state and move toward seeking new connections.
Finally, the Greek word for crisis comes from a word that means to “decide.” Every experience of change comes with a crisis, opportunity, and decision that can turn a transition into a transformation. May your dreams always be greater than your memories.
